From the vaults: Adventures and Teaching in Thailand 2009

This was originally written between July – Sept/Oct 2009, I will add pictures at some other point to illustrate this amazing country. I’ll also edit it a bit better too!

In 2009 I volunteered as a teacher at Baan Lohpahah School in Chiang Rai, Thailand. This amazing opportunity came up through coMMUni – Manchester Metropolitan University’s volunteering organisation and Volunteers for Educational Support and Learning (VESL).

I had just finished an intensive year of teaching and have completed a PGCE in post-compulsory education. I am great a believer in non-coercive education with an emphasis on holistic education and learner empowerment. I believe that no matter how young, or how old, you are – you can be learning in many different ways throughout your life.

Thanks to everyone who sponsored me; you rock!

Thanks to Becky Wardell, Sarah Lloyd, Kat Ainger, and John Appleton for their insights and additions to the original postings.

Contents:
1. From Bangkok with Love
2. Mangosteen, Mosquitoes, and Monsoons. Oh my!
3. People, Poverty and Pikoon.
4. Mother Day.
5. “Mai Muay Thai!”
6. Tribe and Prejudice
7. Khru Jennie!

1. From Bangkok with Love
Hi all,

I’m currently in Bangkok taking advantage of cheap internet in a small place called On Nut. Just thought that I’d let you know how things are going pre-Chiang Rai.

I started my adventures in Hong Kong in Lantau – an island in the HK archipelago. I found HK crazy; there’s tonnes going on and do the Hong Kong Chinese love their malls (and air con, cool coool air con). I basically took the detour to see an old school mate and had much fun there.

Now for some brief boring geekiness about HK’s public transport system: the infrastructure is amazing – trains were every couple of minutes, buses on time, simple to navigate and really cheap. There are three types of taxi service – red, blue and green (which Rach explained was to do with the areas they serve: red for urban, blue for Lantau, and green for the new territories). And, like everything else seemed to be in the country, everything was exeptionally clean to the point of OCD.

Bangkok is completely different: it’s busy, street vendors line the roads and back alleys selling anything from fried fish heads to tiny leather wallets. And the fragrance can be anywhere between feacal to fruity (am enjoying the fruit stalls with their piled up wares such as dragon fruit, pineapples from Phuket, bananas and DIY coconut juice). The city is a bit bonkers, but it’s slowly growing on me. There are temples (Wat) everywhere (well, this being a Buddhist country, it’s to be expected) and orange-robed monks. I’ve learned how to say no to tuk-tuk drivers quite quickly (“mai ow kha”!).

Bit about tuk-tuks – they’re mad – three wheeled vehicles of great dodginess! Also known as songthaews the drivers of these dangerous contraptions seem keen to get many a tourist on board. Having a bit of a liking for living (and hearing several horror stories from other people who’ve been threatened/come near crashing into a bus) I’ve not ventured out in one!

Speaking of buses – I managed to completely fail in navigating the number 2 which is supposed to go to all the tourist tat areas (like Thanon Khoa San and all that). The buses are also a bit dangerous – wooden slatted floors, thirty people seated and 70 standing (OK, maybe a bit exaggerated but it felt like 70!). I gave up in coming back via the bus and got the skytrain instead (which is ace – monorail above and along Thanon Sukumvit!)

I’ve only managed to get lost in the city three times now, so hopefully that’s it for me. Saying that, though, the city seems like a good place to come to get lost (in both a metaphorical and physical sense) and I’ve met a fair few ex-pats who’ve done just that. In fact, there are many wonderful and strange people from both Thailand and around the world that I’ve befriended these last few days, so that’s all cool and groovy :)

I’ll be meeting up with the other VESL volunteers on Friday (the MMU crew went to Ko Tao so I’m looking forward to their stories which I’ll pass on) then fly (aargh, would rather train, but it’s paid for by the charity) up to Chiang Rai on Saturday morn. Hopefully there will be internet access at the school as we’re 25k from the city (and it’s a lot more rural, and rumoured to be more laid back, than Bangkok).

Hope you’re all well, and I’ll post another update when I get chance to :)

Kit teung ter,
JenBee xXxx

2. Mangosteen, Mosquitoes, and Monsoons. Oh my!
Well, have we had a mad two days!

We arrived in Chiangrai (spelling interchangeable it seems!) yesterday morning after an hour and a half flight from Bangkok in a cute, yet disturbingly rattley, plane. Stumbling off the plane, a small few of the Keele Crew hungover (Liv and Mike I’m looking at you here!), a smattering of sleep deprived folk, and an over-excited Jennie arrived at the airport. Chiang Rai International Airport is probably about the same size as Chorlton Street bus station! Anyway, slightly raggle-taggle, were met by about 35 smiling people with cameras flashing and holding a huge banner proclaiming welcome – it was pretty crazy, yet really lovely to be greated!

And the rest of Saturday went in a whirl of lunch, induction with many people, dinner and a massive plate of fruit (mangosteen = love), and then Chiang Rai night market and a small detour around the beautiful gilded clock tower (so, so shiny). We met our head teacher (Piiyani) and English teacher (Nuun) who’re both lovely – communication is being interesting; we’re muddling through nevertheless! There was an amazing storm last night: the rain came down in sheets and then out came the cloud of mosquitoes. Hooray for smelling like a chemical factory (DEET-tastic!) and to Malarone (an anti-malarial which gives me at least a five minute trippy feeling everyday)!

Today we woke at early o’clock and all were met by their respective families/teachers and whisked away to different places. Sarah and I were taken to Chiangrai Rahabat University (CRU) which has an amazing campus that includes two massive lakes, a biology park (with many different types of beetle), and ornamental park with many different sculptures celebrating the Lanna people and their culture.

Next we were taken to Doctor Tuang’s place – he’s Thailand’s celebrated sculpture, architect and artist: it was easy to see why! There are 36 houses each carved, decorated, and designed in different ways. A mix of different cultures and styles seem to have influenced his work (modernism, Myanmar/Burmese crafts, ancient and modern spiritualities). There were also lots of dead things which made me sad, including a skinned bear. It was rather upsetting seeing such a majestic creature reduced to a mere duvet cover :( Hmm.

I think the teachers find my reactions quite amusing; I like looking at different things and am finding everything, for want of a better phrase, rather amazing. Sarah is trying to keep me in check though (thanks, hun!) – and, you were right, the disco dancing in the supermarket was probably a bad plan!

I digress. After the artyness, we went to our host family, who don’t speak any English, apart from their 10 year old, Oy. As my Thai is as basic as Oy’s English, it should be fun! The family are quite poor, and live in a very basic house quite simply. There are chickens and dogs wandering around. There are many fruit trees surrounding the local area. It’s being quite hard to take in – and we’ll be staying with them properly from tomorrow.

Later we went for lunch at a street cafe, which although I was feeling quite ropey, actually sorted me out (♥ spicy food – even though I reckon I’ll be living off egg-fried rice and spinach for the next few weeks)!

Then to Nuun’s (where I’m typing this) and later to the white temple (shut, but definitely going back there as it’s stunning).

It’s now 9pm here and we’re both shattered – have a long day tomorrow which includes a meeting with the governor of Chiang Rai, then, well, no idea yet – but it’s being a bit of an adventure!

Loads of love to all, lakuun,
JenBee xXxx

3. People, Poverty and Pikoon
I feel like last week lasted for about a month; we crammed so much in and were copiously buffeted about.

And I’ve been feeling like I need to say something about Chiang Rai: its organisation, and about the amazing and wonderful people we’ve met who’re so giving yet – compared to the west at least – economically poor.

It’s all very well that we’re being well taken care of, to the point of being spoiled by trips, meals out (oh so many) and other fantastic cultural adventures. However, I’m incredibly aware of the economic gap between us as European volunteers and the local people. For example, a 200baht handmade dress works out around £4 (and if anyone’s into handmade stuff, you’ll know that it’s expensive to buy in the UK). I realise that it’s all relative – and I’ve mentioned this many a time before at home and in many a theoretical discussion with utopian anarchists at my old place – but it really struck me how materialistic we are in the west; more than I originally thought anyway. Anyway, just to put it into perspective, 200B is about a day’s wages for a taxi driver in Bangkok (I learned this from chatting to a driver – who told us about taxation and struggling to get work in the wet season) and could be a week’s food for a small family.

The Laeson family who we’re staying with have some modern conveniences (and some incongruous ones such as a massive TV, DVD and speakers), rice maker, toploader washing machine and a fridge freezer. Everything else in (and about) the house is very simple: we wash from a bucket in the outhouse bathroom (which is appended to the house), we use a squat toilet and use water from another bucket to flush away our waste. Water, as I will bore anyone about when ranting, is infinitely precious – and the water from the taps here is not potable so everyone buys their own bottled water (there’s no milk man, but a bottled water man – and yes, it’s generall men who do this labour!). I spoke with a few people who told me how water and electricity prices had skyrocketed due to the global recession.

The Laesan family’s little girl, Oil (pronounced ‘Oy’) is beautiful, cheeky, and incredibly charming; she smiles and laughs and plays – she has yet to learn of class divisions, of the struggle she may have to get beyond a secondary education (if that’s what she wants to do, of course).

Literacy levels are high in Thailand, however, English as a foreign language education is pretty patchy and, apparently, that’s why were here: so that kids can learn English from native speakers. I tried to quell feelings of linguistic colonialism but that may be a rant for another time.

The Thai government noted that the country is dependent on tourism so it’s important to learn English so that it improves trade and global communication (seeing as more people speak Chinese, the eyebrow is raised). I’m doing my best to pick up some Thai though as I’m a bit worried about being used as some sort of colonialism through the ‘global’ language! As an aside, the school books are rubbish – more about this as some later juncture.

I’ve seen people starving on the streets of Bangkok; living rough under the expressway with jutting bones and each other for company accompanied also by mangy, ill-looking dogs. I’ve seen mothers and kids begging near the Sky Train stations, on the roadsides and outside the incongruent shiny Siam Centre Mall. Toothless old women, with hands clasped together in the traditional Wai (hands pressed together in front of your person as a form of greeting, apology and respect – levels that the hands are held up as differs as to level of importance the person has).

Wow, I’ve ranted a lot. And as Sarah rightly points out, this is like a sociology essay! Anyway, your homework is to investigate grassroots organisations that are working in Thailand that challenge poverty, water, and inequality (I am a teacher and I reserve the right to set home work). And no, you can’t use Oxfam’s partner organisations (although they are active here!).

And lastly, I have been given a Thai name. It is Pikoon. Which is a type of flower. And, from a lazy Google, it’s not a delicate little thing which would’ve been an ironic step too far.

4. Mother Day
Hi all,

Today the school marked the birthday of the queen by celebrating motherhood. Being a bit of an agnostic anti-authoritarian persuasion I was originally dreading this day. However, the sheer love that was displayed by both the kids and their mums was incredibly touching. I’m an old softy so I had a bit of a weep (especially when they did a welcoming ceremony for us – my wrist is covered in magic white cotton bands).

In other news: last night I shared my ‘shower’ with ants, a cast of one thousand mosquitoes (mosquito bite count now at: 32), and a cockroach the length of a Cook’s box of matches. Oh well, I’ve bathed with worse!

Right, we have a staff meeting and tomorrow the school is closed as it’s the queen’s birthday. So there will be more from me soon :D

More on Mother Day here: http://www.thailandlife.com/motherday.html

Sarah Lloyd (Keele) wrote at 09:16 on 14 August 2009
That welcome ceremony was strange but touching. Going to have to keep my 24 magic pieces of cotton string so that I have Good Luck and win the lottery and whatever else they were saying to me in Thai that didn’t get translated.

5. “Mai Muay Thai!”
OK I lie, there is no average teaching day (that we’ve experienced, anyway!). This update is an attempt to describe an averageish day at the village primary school. And also about the themed week!

6.45am (getting earlier as the mornings get lighter). Wake up several flavours of sleep deprived after a night of disturbances (dog chorus commences at 1am and is joined in with the chicken section around 4.30am, then there’s the string section of something or the other being sharpened around 5am, then the radio at 5.30am).

7:30am (although, again getting earlier). Have breakfast which is normally a variation of: eggsricevegetable; eggsvegetablerice; riceeggsvegetable; ricevegetableeggs; vegetablericeeggs; vegetableeggsrice – it’s delicious, though!

7.50am (see above). Head to school with Oil, takes two minutes as we’re nearly right next door. We are then met by many little ones who either shout “HEL-LO TEA-CHUR!” or follow us around, or want to shake our hands, or who cling on and hug us. It’s ace! Eventually we get to the main office to sign in and last minute lesson plan/go on computers (internet intermittent).

Depending on our timetables, the following happens:

8.15am (or later, depends on who’s ringing the bell – the kids tend to take this on). All the children congregate on the field in front of the Thai flag. The flag is raised and national anthem sung. Then the school Buddha, which is situated next to the flagpole, is prayed to.

8.30amish (I love Thai time; it’s so inexact and laid back!). First lesson commences. There are three lessons then…

11.30am (normally bang on!). Lunch – see breakfast menu above for the veggie option! Sarah normally has some kind of mystery meat eaten with an “I don’t want to know!” before consumption.

12.30pmish – 3.30pm. Three more lessons then it’s hometime.

As for the teaching. Today, for example, there are three teachers in for around 150 students. I’m not that great at maths, but as you can see it leads to potential chaos (and in our experience, normally does!). I’ll write about the books they use for English in another post as I feel the need to rant about their inappropriateness!

The school unifom is themed throughout the week as follows:
Monday: Uniform day – the teachers throughout Thailand don militaryesque apparel and the students wear smart white shirts and blue shorts/skirts.

Tuesday: purple day – the teachers wear purple and the students wear their normal yellow and blue. Iin Thailand Tuesday is pink day and Saturday
purple.

Wednesday: Red Cross day – teachers wear their Red Cross outfits (like the Scouts). The kids again wear yellow and blue.

Thursday: Sport day – teachers wear smart sporty clothes (although there’s no sport on!). Kids wear yellow and blue.

Friday: Lanna day. The teachers and children wear traditional Lanna costume.

Oh, and “Mai Muay Thai!” means “No Thai boxing!” which I end up telling the second graders constantly as they carry out their two minutely attempts to beat each other up!

Also – and I’ve mentioned it to a few of you already – I love it here. I love the school and the kids (they’re the happiest children I’ve ever met), and the local community who are friendly, resilient and basically rock. I will be sad to go and hope that we’ve helped here somehow. Even if it’s with small amounts of English and child-centered teaching.

Sarah Lloyd (Keele) wrote at 09:13 on 14 August 2009
Our breakfasts are getting more exciting, there are western elements creeping in (bread, jam, yoghurt) to go with your egg and my rice and mystery meat/whole fish.
The kids have very cute Red Cross uniforms too, Oil looked so cute in her little hat last week!
We should really get versions of the ‘school uniform’ and red cross costumes, we’re already doing purple day, and started Lanna day this week. We should try and do the full set next week.

6. Tribe and Prejudice
Terrible pun aside, I’m feeling a little under the weather at the moment. On Friday my stomach finally declared a War on Terror style campaign against chilies with idiosyncratic disproportionate response. However, although annoyed that it waited until the last week of my time here, I will persevere! And still managed to enjoy a fun, if little alcohol tinged, weekend with some of the other VESL volunteers – we ended up in a bar called ‘Sperm’ (only in Thailand…), watched some Thai rock bands and did some silly dancing. Walking back seemed to take forever, and has pushed the mozzie bite count up to 62.

Fun aside, Liv, Sarah, Asher and I visited the Hill Tribes Museum and Education Centre in Chiang Rai on Saturday. It was fascinating; Liv and Asher have already met some of the different hill tribes. Apparently, it’s a bit of a misnomer to call them tribes – there’s generally no chief – however, as it’s what some of the groups call themselves we’ll stick with it. The museum is run by an NGO called the Population and Community Development Association (PDA) who support the different ethnic groups by offering health and education support, and family planning information (including advice on sexually transmitted diseases and HIV), and contraception. For 50baht (a pound) which includes entrance and coffee it was rather bargainous and well worth seeing should you ever be in Chiang Rai.

The museum had an excellent (if slightly old) display on the history of opium and its impact on the hill tribes. The many different ethnic groups have absolutely no citizen rights under Thai law and this, in the past, may well have contributed to the current illegal cultivation of opium. I won’t go on too much about the opium trade, as there’s lots of history and info out there. However, in a nutshell, the British fucked everything up. Again. As opium was/is available to hill tribes people, many may develop an addiction to the drug. The ‘purging’ ceremony for addicts which includes being blessed by monks and made to take a herb that causes instantaneously vomiting. There was a rather horrible picture of someone projectile vomiting. Nice.

We learned cool things about the different groups which include: the Karen (which has the largest hill tribe population and who practice Christianity thanks to missionary influence); Laku; Hmong; Akha; and Lisu. Many of these groups practice shifting cultivation where they will clear one area for crops/animal rearing and then move on to another area. Apparently this method is quite environmentally sound. Many of the tribe believe both in nature and in spirits. The Akha, for example, have a gate and carvings that depict the entrance to their village. No-one can touch this gate lest it anger the spirits and a new gate must be built if this occurs.

One thing that really came across at the museum, and from talking to other volunteers is the prejudice against the hill tribes. For example, one volunteer told me that even the teachers declared that hill tribes kids have a “low IQ” or are “autistic”. She then said that the kids end up playing up. Because the children have been told they are stupid/have special education needs due to their caste so they start to believe it of themselves. On example are the Karen and Akha people who came from Burma/Myanmar they are often discriminated against because of the colour of their skin (they tend to be darker than Thai people).

As the biggest tribe, the Karen have a difficult time. Some Thai people who believe that they shouldn’t be in the country and should return to Myanmar/Burma. And as the military junta in Burma/Myanmar continues, millions of Karen people are again repressed. According to The Burma Campaign: “least 140,000 more Karen, Karenni, and Mon people from eastern Burma are refugees in Thailand following intense Burmese army offensives since 1984.”

As they have little money, some of the Karen tribe have resorted to becoming tourist attractions through wearing rings around their necks to push their collar bones down. This gives the appearance of having a swan-like neck (which looks really wrong, not at all beautiful). Some Karen people who do this – known as long-necked Karen – may even be stolen by unscrupulous people wanting to make money from exploiting them. The PDA aims to discourage people from seeing the long-necked Karen and also seek to preserve the Karen’s and other tribes’ traditional ways of life.

Finally, the family planning and HIV work the NGO do is pretty cool, and we had a free coffee in their Cabbages and Condoms café afterwards too!

The PDA’s website doesn’t really function that well, but is here if you fancy taking a look: http://www.pda.or.th/chiangrai/hilltribe_museum.

If you want more information and/or to take action regarding the current military junta in Burma/Myanmar, you should definitely look at: http://www.burmacampaign.org.uk

Becky Ve Keele (Keele) wroteat 11:46 on 17 August 2009
Oh dear Jennie, sorry to hear you have been suffering with the tummy blues… Hope you are feeling much better now & enjoying your last few days on the project.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your updates and about your usually very entertaining adventures – I am going to miss them!

With reference to the Karen, a tour guide told me recently that the rings around the neck and legs were initially for protection against tigers. Although not necessary any more, they have become a tradition that the women must adhere to. Apparently the rings come off about once a year for a week so the women can treat the damage they have caused to the neck/collar bones. The rings can weigh up to 5kg, depending on how many are being worn!!

Also, on visiting the Hill Tribe Museum myself a couple of weeks ago, I understand that the Karen were initially brought into Thailand as a tourist attraction!! Though not sure how long ago this was as today different tribes from Burma/Myanmar now come to Thailand as refugees. Although there are also tribes that originate from China & Tibet also. It’s a fascinating topic.

There is also a tribe called the White Karen who don’t wear the rings around the neck and legs.

There are an estimated 8,000,000 people in Thailand who live below the poverty line. And the hill tribe people are still suffering from prejudice today.

7. Khru Jennie!
Well, it’s my penultimate day at Baan Lophahah school and pratom 2 have rendered me all sung-out! Apart from being ill, and minor frustrations about misunderstanding what was expected of us, I’ve loved being here; it’s been an amazing experience.

I’m looking forward to getting back and working with primary school kids in Manchester on sustainability in schools, and have lots of ideas for games and potential teaching sessions. I also have more of an idea of what to expect from younger children, and the level that teaching and talks need to be pitched at!

Speaking of pitching learning. The English books I was referring to/ranting about in earlier posts are called “Zoom” (for years 1,2, and 3) and “Gogo Loves English” (for 4, 5, and 6). Both are published by Longman, a multinational book company who also publish academic/educational books in the UK. Upon arriving here, we were told we had to follow the Thai curriculum (even though the school doesn’t have a copy of it, nor access to the current one as it’s changing soon) which entailed using those books. However, I’ve ignored both “Zoom” and “Gogo Loves English” as, basically, they’re rubbish.

The books are seemingly written for Spanish learners with an emphasis on describing American culture. One example is that Thais do not celebrate Halloween, Christmas, or Thanksgiving – their calendar is very different (we’re 6 hours ahead AND in the year 2552 here). So, the books are culturally insensitive. Also, they’re not written in any way that makes any pedagogical sense: many topics, covered in “Zoom” are not introduced in “Gogo…” and then they’re covered as if the learner has not come across them before! Needless to say, many of the older kids here are struggling following the English. It doesn’t help that the conversation tapes, supposed to come with the books, haven’t emerged. I’m sure Sarah will have plenty more to add on this subject on some point, and I’m going to be a geek when I go home and look up more on these books! Other volunteers have “Say Hello” which could be more appropriate for both age level and language ability.

I’m also very aware that I’d personally rather teach English to those who want it, and play games with those who don’t, rather than force it upon children (and think that I’ve gone on enough about language colonialism enough already)! Although I do think that introducing languages at an earlier age is more beneficial than later (and again, some of you psychologists out there may have something to add on this).

Anyway, I’ve learned loads and think that the kids have too. I’ve loved having “Khru Jennie, Khru Jennie!” yelled at me and the crazy songs that I’ve been taught about insects and washing.

Thanks for reading these! I will be writing them up properly when I come home (the computer here has a near meltdown when I use WordPress so it’ll have to wait). And thanks to all those who’ve supported me, and the other vols, in the Lanna Kingdom of Northern Thailand.

Love love love,
Jenbee xXxxx

Post 2
John Appleton (Newcastle) wroteat 11:53 on 20 August 2009
Having learnt Afrikaans as a kid, it’s definitely easier to pick up languages then. Part of it, I think, is that you’re not doing it “scientifically” – no-one tells you that something is past participle, a transitive verb, a conditional subjunctive or anything like that. You just know how to say you did something, are doing something or are going to do something. Incidentally, I’m sure they use(d) Longman books in Botswana to teach English; to greater effect by the sound of it.

Thanks to the following people for donating towards this venture:
Sophie, Cheese, Matt (I offered incense to a golden Buddha as promised), Rake, the Bailey family, Robin, Kat M, MMU students,Glen, Andy N, donations from Withington fundraiser, Andy N, John G, John A (and Plato!), Soph-a-loaf, Soph’s mum, and Stu.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE!!!

You can donate money/pens/school equipment to Baan Lohpahah school here:

Baan Lohpahah School
IV007 Tambon Maekhaotom
Amphur Muang Chiangrai
Thailand 57100

Posted in Education, International, Jenbee, Popular Education, Teaching | Leave a comment

The Poetry Advent Calendar

Tastier than chocolate? Definitely; I think that an advent calendar with a poem a day is even lovelier. Less calorific too!

And this is exactly what the Poetry Advent Calendar is setting out to do, with poems loosely based on the theme of Winter. Although it will go beyond the 25th of the month right up to New Year’s Eve. So far there have been funny poems, sad poems, reflective poems and happy poems. Some bounce along in a regular metre, some rhyme, and some are brilliantly free style.

Now for the cheeky plug; today’s poem is one of mine: A Snowflake’s Chance. Enjoy!

Posted in Jenbee, Poetry | Leave a comment

Hung, Drawn, and Northern Quartered

I love Manchester; I lived in the City Centre for a year. I decided quite quickly – after a few months of dwelling opposite Piccadilly station – that City Living is not for me. Although wandering around the back streets in Manchester something I have noticed over the last ten or so years is the dwindling presence of Mancunian accents in the city’s ‘Northern Quarter’ and the rise of the ‘yuppie flat’ in the heart of the city.

Although I do frequent this area – there are some very lovely cafés there – I have noticed that the extreme gentrification has neutered the area somewhat. Although it’s nice to have a great arty space, I feel that there is an element of fakery, also an element of corporate interference too. This poem is kind of about that and is for Becca.

Hung, Drawn, and Northern Quartered

Sarah and Persephone are ladies who lunch
drinking chai as they munch upon cake.
They discuss tumbledown mills
and society’s ills
as they order more herbal tea.

The high heeled clack of the well heeled young
echoes through Manchester rain.
They’ve not heard of Engels,
only tubular bells
of the New Age shop down the lane.

Old men’s pubs full of twenty-somethings,
plucking guitar strings, drinking beer.
They play on bongos,
and drunkenly tango
along old Oldham Street’s sprawl.

Artists are followed by trust fund kids
who skid upon wet Metro sheets.
They avoid the pot holes
in their scuffed soles
of Converse, snug on bare feet.

Fashionistas, in vintage, dance along too
like crinoline flowers circa 1952.
They’re far too skinny,
listen to indie,
all wrapped up in ironic chintz.

Young professionals lulled by a dream:
a scheme of live, work and play.
They now whinge of the bars
and hippie sitars,
heard from flats at least three blocks away.

What does one do when the party’s over,
do you duck and run for cover?
Or do you move on,
and look for more fun,
hung, drawn and northern quartered?

Posted in Jenbee, Manchester, Poetry | Leave a comment

NaNo NaNo – adventures in novel writing land #NaNoWriMo

My brain, my beautiful brain – it feels like it wants to drizzle out of my ears. The neurons are now noodles, all the lobes are berating my slow, slow progress to complete this darned challenge.

50,000 words in 30 days? It’s possible. Just not sure whether it’s happening for me really: I loathe one of my characters (although am a little in love with the awkward academic); the baddies are one dimensional (except sexy evil boss lady); the pasties aren’t particularly tasty (except those from Pengenna Pasties of course) and the main character has already imbibed far too much beer (well, maybe that’s not such a bad thing, especially if it’s Spingo Special).

I’m over half-way through, slightly behind schedule, but planning the big finale: a battle in Bodmin. Maybe the second draft will be better…

Posted in Creative Writing, Jenbee | 1 Comment

Attempting a novel in a month? No worries (maybe) #NaNoWriMo

As mentioned in the previous post, I’m attempting this year’s NaNoWriMo having been spurred on by the lovely Johnny and also by feeling the need for distraction.

So, I’m going to finally get this flippin’ story out of my head; it’s been in suspended animation for over ten years now and it’s time to finally let it go. It’s a story (well, hopefully a story, if I finish the thing that is) of truth, friendship, aliens, New Age tomfoolery and pasties. It will probably feature quoits and piskies too. If I’m not a gibbering wreck by the 10,000th word then we’re doing OK.

If you’re participating in this year’s NaNoWriMo challenge, and would like a writing buddy, let me know.

 

'Nevermore', quoth the quoit

Posted in Creative Writing, Jenbee | 3 Comments

NaNo Bot

Participating in this year’s National Novel Writing Month. Will probably be somewhat masochistic, but sounds great for practising writing skills.

Apart from that, going through some bad personal crap at the mo, normalish sporadic blog-posting service back soon…

Posted in Creative Writing, Jenbee | Leave a comment

New(ish) poem: “Damage Limitation”

I began this poem – about an encounter with a bolshy, chirpy Goth – back in 1997. For non-Manchester natives, The Ritz is a nightclub which, back in 1990′s, had notorious student-filled Monday nights (AKA “Dance yer Docs Off”). My underaged friends and I used to sneak along to these beer-fuelled, indie-rock soaked, bouncing-dancefloor pogoing, meat market pulling nights.

There’s a rubbish picture to accompany the poem on my Write Out Loud blog. Please note, I gave up art around 1992!

“Damage Limitation” in The Ritz Toilets, 1997

Red carpet, burn marks, blur of piss and Mad Dog 20:20.
Foggy bursts of floral perfume masking ciggies
slyly smoked by giggling under-aged lassies.

Who’re you to judge, who’re you to tell?

She fixes her lippy, dreaming of kissing,
lips smack against frayed toilet tissue.
Slug back warm beer to help forget who she is.

Not that you can, or you ever will.

A bracelet of smoke snakes up beside the coils of her hair.
Boudica in black PVC corset, flowery skirt, big boots stares.
Heart-shaped face framed by purple, pink, and blonde dreads.

Live action ‘Happening Hair’ Barbie.

She preens in the mirror, a youthful sage appears,
knowing-smile – a sharpness beyond her 19 years,
wisdom lines beginning to show around a sulky mouth.

Don’t talk to me, please don’t talk to me.

She rifles through a small silver bag covered in badges
pulls out a stub of black eyeliner, outlines her eyes
Cleopatra eyes, bird eyes; shaded peacock.

Warrior princess, have no doubt.

She smiles at the mirror at the silent girl beside her,
“Damage limitation” she says, shifting her hair.
“Damage limitation, there’s a mob out there.”

Can’t stand the smoke; put it out.

“Why do we bother painting ourselves beautiful?
This superficial smile, these kohl rings riled.
Why are we trying not to look the same?”

Maybe it’s to hide our own shame?

After this speech, the Gothic Amazon shrugs, continues painting
her lines. Humming along to the over-loud music.
The girl understands, opens her mouth to speak.

May as well treat life like a game.

Too late, she is gone in a shake of dreadlocks,
and a squaring of shoulders, tits stuck out ready for war.
A cigarette warning with extra earrings.

Posted in Creative Writing, Poetry | Leave a comment

“Je t’aime” (les coccinelles)

Apparently there was a porn-y John Smith’s bitter advert in the late 1990′s involving two ladybirds getting it on. Well, if shagging athropods is your kind of thing, this is your lucky day!

For today, in lovely, leafy Didsbury, the fella and I spotted 2 pairs of harlequin ladybirds, erm, increasing their species.

Harlequin ladybirds are an invasive species to the UK; they’ve evolved to be incredibly successful as well as quickly adapting to our climate. Conservation organisations, such as Buglife, argue that they could be contributing to the decline in number of native ladybirds. The harlequin ladybirds are much bigger and are more voracious nibblers than our native species; they are thus competing with the natives’ food source.

We’ve sent all this info (plus ladybird porn picture – see below) to the harlequin ladybird survey. We didn’t kill them though; like the harlequins pictured – we’re lovers not fighters!

Harlequin ladybirds (male H. axyridis succinea & female H. axyridis conspicua) "getting it on"

Posted in Biodiversity, Education | Leave a comment

This is not a riot

I was away during the UK riots, enjoying camping, walking, the dramatic rain which spattered the Cornish countryside. Once back, I’ve been trying to think about how I feel about what has happened regarding the rash of riots; mulling it over for about a week.

There were no riots in Cornwall – a few vicious looking gulls who were reccying their chances at a Cornish pasty snatch being the only menace. Through reading the papers whilst away, I thought Manchester had been scorched to the ground! Upon my return and finding no crater to lament my once-fine city (come on, rioters, you could’ve had the decency to take out that Hilton monstrosity), I instead came back to the world of the Internet: a world of opinion, conjecture, vindictiveness and assumption. I read a myriad Facebook posts and Twitter comments on the riots. I’ve included some of the following reactions to the people involved (with apologies to some members of my family for quoting them anonymously):

“why should our boys (men) die for them.bring them home to deal with these yobs”

“Can the government not make a bit of money from this by running a safari, where decent people can be driven through the urban jungle in an armoured car to bag a chav? I couple of hooded scrote’s heads would look quite nice above my fireplace. I’d have to move the mirror though.”

“These morons are not rioting to gain any sort of freedom they are just vandals and thieves”

“God I hate racists and people who are anti-police! This is not a race or immigration issue, there’s plenty of British citizens involved! There are good cops that do a very hard job, and it would be a frightening place if we didn’t have them, there are bad cops. There are peaceful protesters that just want to get their point across and there are idiots that use protests as an excuse to cause mayhem and get free tellys, probably the same kind of hooligans you get at football matches, they’re ALL just people at the end of the day good or bad! And the BNP can fuck right off!”

“I’m a 1930′s baby and some parents aren’t fit to raise a flea…[they] shouldn’t be allowed [to have] children”

I am not naïve; I know there are people out there who get involved just for violence of it. I experienced this in environmental activism where you get a load of people turning up just to break stuff for no reason apart from hedonistic joy. Which could be argued as a wasted opportunity to make a proper statement regarding trashing capitalism! ;)

One thing that has struck me, post-riots, is the gung-ho approach the courts have taken and the empty political rhetoric which has been playing in the background like bad lift music. The general message the government is currently portraying is that the social disorder, or “broken society” has been caused by: families, lack of discipline at home and in school, the young people themselves. Nothing to do with rising costs of living, the cessation of welfare benefits, the cuts to vital education, social and health services. “No, it’s not poverty that is to blame,” David Cameron seems to say, “but troubled families; there’s one in every neighbourhood”. These are the so-called “underclass”, the “townie”, the “scrote”, the “scally”, the “chav”.

I hate these terms, particularly “underclass”, and loathe the lable “chav”. These monikers are used to dehumanise. They are used to assist in distancing people, resulting in a “them and us” dichotomy.

Now, like many others I do not believe that everyone involved in the riots was a ‘lovely’ and ‘fluffy’ and ‘friendly’ person; I do not condone the senseless murders of Haroon Jahan, Shahzad Ali and Abdul Musavir (beautifully eulogized in Carol Ann Duffy’s Birmingham for Tariq Jahan). However, the government’s tacit support of the judiciary throwing decades of legislation and law out of the window in some overly-harsh sentencing is worrying. There has been no-one held culpable, nor is currently doing a custodial sentence for hacking into dead schoolgirls’ mobile phones, yet an attempt at applying a fake custard pie to Rupert Murdoch’s face ended in 4 weeks of doing bird. Am sure there’s a joke about being held in custard-y here somewhere…

Now the government want to address the use of social networking, which – if you believe them – is solely to blame for the organisation of riots. The Open Rights Group are facilitating a digital “free speech” campaign against the government’s proposal to cut off communications during national unrest. Have a look at the petition here for more information: Save Our Social Media.

For more intelligent comment on this, have a look at the rather erudite Merrick’s blog: bristlingbadger.blogspot.com.

Posted in Jenbee, Social Justice | Leave a comment

“…while moon shall wear and wend.”*

Work in progress…a glimpse of some new things I’m working on.

Sennen Sunset

Sea. My feet await your sweet saline kiss,
salt lapping clean the sunburned skin.
Eyes skim the horizon, gulls and dolphins,
their display is “oo-ed” and “ah-ed”.
An anthropomorphic interpretation of instinct.

Later, past lobster-pots and stone drum cottages,
wooden doors splintered by decades of spume
and wind. Ascend the steps: the cliff walk,
the long, fern-framed traverse to England’s end.
Pretend the rabbits are for you only.

Ten years ago, nearly 400 miles away,
the sway of the grass in the sea breeze.
The crumbling ledge, biscuit-thin, we climbed on.
I’ve been taught not to lean, not to leap and to swim.
Scatter blue petals of photographs into the sea.

The sun melts: a bruise going backwards
yellow to gold to purple to deep maple.
The smog blue of twilight blankets the sky,
a chill; the salt fog swirls into shore.
Before the cycle is completed, I walk away.

* Title for blog post nicked from The Sea and the Skylark, Gerard Manley-Hopkins

Posted in Creative Writing, Poetry | 2 Comments